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any hospital other than Are you fucking blind man? Are you having a laugh? Are you off your rocker? Are you seriouslly trying to sell me this rust bucket? Are you seriously calling this pigsty a room? Are you trying to take the piss / me for a fool? Are your lousy staff intending to pull their finger out or what? At least six people died when a church roof collapsed in Columbia. As if that weren’t enough, the ambula... Bloody hell, are you listening to me at all? Cocktail? What are you talking about - this tastes like paint stripper! Come off it - are you seriously calling this a good exchange rate? Darling, don’t you have a stop button? Do they seriously consider this crap contemporary art? Does it always feel like Monday morning around here? Does your grandma know that they’ve got all her junk in here? Doesn’t anybody get their arse in gear around here? Don’t do the macho on me Don’t get your knickers in a twist - this ain’t no bloody scratch! Don’t give me that bullshit! Ever heard anything of customer service you twat? Fucking Weather! Get lost / sod off! Get your arse in gear, or the shit will really hit the fan. Give it a rest, man! He eats like a horse He’s really not quite right in his head How much are you asking for this crap? How the hell are you supposed to see anything in this miserable light? I don’t give a fuck if it’s no parking! I suppose your staff gets paid for sitting around? I wouldn’t even clean the floor with this muck - call this a whiskey? I wouldn’t touch you with a barge pole I’ll go crazy if it doesn’t stop pissing down soon I’m soaking wet ID card? What the hell’s that supposed to mean? in spite of every effort in spite of everything in spite of our great care in spite of our precautions in spite of the stream of tourists Is anyone intending to shift their arses around here? Is this the beach or the dump? It’s raining cats and dogs / it’s lashing down / it’s pissing down / it’s splitting / ... Just give me the bloody bumf! Just piss off, the lot of you! Just shove the bloody dosh over, you tight-arse! Just shut up, I’m getting seriously fed up here! Lady you’re a real pain last respite Let’s whoop it up! Listen smart-arse, do you think I’m waiting around here just for the fun of it? Mobile Army Surgical Hospital [MASH] Most Germans die in hospitals or in long-term care institutions My suitcase is none of you goddam business No way I’m getting on this pile of junk Our mattresses are so filthy you could grow cabbages on them Shouldn’t you be in bed by now, you midget? Spare me the drivel spit and polish Spit it out! Stick your deck chair rent up your arse where the sun dosn’t shine Stop hitting on me, you dickhead Take your filthy hand off me now! Talk about the tropics! What an awful heat! / What a scorcher! The DJ must be having a laugh with this rubbish The girl is the spitting image of her mother The twins are the spitting image of each other This beer tastes like old feet This belongs on a dump and not in a shop This bill is outrageous This hovel is fit for nothing but demolition squad / it’s not even fit for the dog! This hovel really takes the biscuit This is a complete tourist rip-off This is all Greek to me! This is bloody / fucking insane This meat’s as tough as old boots This must be the backside of the universe. We are really in the back of beyond This place is a fucking piss take! This place is like a morgue tonight This promenade is just a bad joke This stuff is just bloody ridiculous To be capable of chewing up logs of wood and spitting chips to be spitting mad/nails to be the spitting image of someone to be within spitting distance of a place to do something from pure spite to go to hospital to spite one’s face to wind up in hospital/with nothing Turn that awful racket down, will you! Waiter - get your arse in gear! What do you mean fully booked? You’re bloody joking! Where will I find a decent restaurant in this hole? Who do you think you are, jerk? Who do you think you are, stupid? Who gives a fuck about flimsy arty farty bits like that? Without money we’re up shit creak without a paddle Yes, my old aunt is still alive and kicking, in spite of the terrible winter we’ve just had You are as thick as two short planks You can stick your stupid closing time in your pipe and smoke it You can’t be serious with this house speciality - it’s a complete joke! You don’t ease off for a minute, do you? You don’t seriously belive i’d pay good money for this rag? You drive like a bloody maniac! You got us into deep crap, now face the music! You haven’t got a fucking clue what you are talking about You look a little shattered today You look like a drowned cat You must be completely round the bend! You won’t see me swimming in that shit! You’re as useless as a chocolate fireguard You’re just a two-bit quack doctor You’re off your heads - the lot of you! You’re really getting on my wick You’re seriously making me sick! Your customer service sucks! Your prices are pretty damn steep Your prices really are insane

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